Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Characters answering surveys: Wilhelmina Goldberg


Have you ever gotten an internet survey?  It has strange questions like your favorite foods, and flavors, that sort of thing.



Ever wondered what would happen if you had a novel character answer one of those?



I decided to have a little fun this week, so I decided to fill one of them out .... as my character Wilhelmina Goldberg -- Secret Service Agent, Tech-expert, and all around barrel of laughs.  I haven't mentioned her in a while, so she's due.



[More below the break]






***********




1) Your Name: Wilhelmina Goldberg

2) Nicknames: Villie

3) City where you live?: Washington DC, when I'm there.

4) School?: Polytech

5) Parents Names?:  Mom and Dad

6) Eye color?: Hazel

7) Hair?: Whatever I decide it is

8)Pets?: Does a roomate count?

9) Siblings?: Too many

10) Best Friends: My computer. I call him Hal.  He talks like Viggo Mortensen

12) Best Enemies: Vista / Bill Gates.

13) Can you dance?: Not really

14) Saddest moment in recent memory: When Steve Jobs died



Favorite TV Shows

Comedy: Whenever Bill Gates has a press conference

Drama: Doctor Who

Reality Show: Sons of Guns

Science fiction show: "Numbers"

Favorite car show: either Top Gear, or Knightrider.



Favorite actor: Orlando Bloom



Favorite novel: Lord of the Rings



Most desired gadget: Sonic Screwdriver.



Most desired recreational toy: One I can't program, you mean?  A lightsaber. I have some people I need to negotiate with. It would come in handy



WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING: Timothy Zahn's Star Wars novels. All of them.



WHAT CD's ARE IN YOUR PLAYER RIGHT NOW?: You mean the playlist on my I-pod?  Tom Smith.



WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?: "The Men of Lord of the Rings."  I photoshopped it myself



FAVORITE BOARD GAME?: Boards? They used boards before computers? Leave me alone, I have Warhammer.



FAVORITE MAGAZINES: Security Magazine



FAVORITE SMELLS?: A warm hard drive



BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?:  Showing up at a new place .



WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: Being ordered to fortify the security of someone who won't listen to a damn thing I say.  I'm looking at you, Saudi Ambassador.



ROLLER COASTER SCARY OR EXCITING?: I can't bring my laptop on board. They suck.



HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?: I don't do rings. I program the tunes to various themes of Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Star Wars, and Babylon 5, usually depending on who it is.  Sometimes I'll let it go to voicemail so I can listen to the whole tune...



FUTURE CHILD' NAME? Sean Luke, and Arwyn.




DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? I grew up in New York, I don't drive, really.



DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? My harddrive



STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? They screw up my Wifi!!!



WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? : The C train, if you want to be picky



IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE:  Stephen Hawking. He needs a good talking to.



FAVORITE DRINK? Slivovitz



EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: Yes, but David Tennant isn't taking my calls.




WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? My go-bags



FAVORITE COLOR CLOTHES TO WEAR:  Black. Makes my job easier.



Do you believe in Heaven/Hell: I've been to Hell on assignment. There is lots of sand there.



Who is the person(s) you despise most?: Bill Gates

What is your computer desk made of? I don't need desks. I have a lap.

What did you do last night?: Rewrote Windows 7. Now it runs more like a Mac.

Dream car?: Kitt, only fully wired with voice commands and net access.

Have you ever won any special awards?: Yes. But the NSA won't let me have them back.

Fast or slow?: Faster the better, because they're usually shooting at me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Review: Infinite Space, Infinite God II




[A Review of Infinite Space, Infinite God II, a science fiction anthology of Catholic-related tales. Edited by Robert and Karina Fabian ]



One of the themes of this blog is that I try not to get too religious. Most of my consistent readers are not Catholic, or even Christian, so it just won't fly. And, as I've said before, the most I really want to do with this blog is possibly explain the utter insanity that is my religion …. which, as far as some religions go, might be the most reasonable (And if you don't believe me, look up the Aztecs, and the Roman cult of Mithras).



Infinite Space, Infinite God II, however, fits in perfectly well with the rubric. It's not preachy. And there is not even a whiff, a hint, a suggestion, of pro-Catholic propaganda. In fact, the entire premise of this book is that systems fail, fall apart, and don't solve everything, leaving it up to individuals. Sometimes, an individual combined with faith, and sometimes not.



Sometimes, the individual isn't even human.





Welcome to the world of Catholic science fiction.  And, in case you were wondering, yes, there are Catholic science fiction nerds, as evidenced by my DragonCon posts on this blog.



This is not, mercifully, one of those books where you have to be Catholic to understand everything. In fact, aside from a few in-jokes, this is not a book that requires you know Catholic theology—one of the authors is a Presbyterian Minister. Far as I can tell, if you don't mind having Catholics as the good guys, this book is quite enjoyable. This doesn't even require a belief in God.... but it doesn't hurt, either



The sense of humor in some is almost sly. You don't need to be Catholic to understand the actual jokes, though there are some bits where there are Catholic in-jokes.



Karina Fabian's tale of interstellar rescue nuns includes their base convent as being the Convent of Joseph du Cupertino—the patron saint of pilots. Most relevant jokes are spelled out: one ship is called the Mark 16, even though there were only seven models—only to discover that it's actually Mark 16:18...



Let's just say that I've never seen “Snakes on a Star ship.”



There was also a question from an alien to a nun that started


“What do the wings on the hat signify? Something to do with aviation?"

"This is a full habit."

"I didn't ask how often you wore it."



It's cute.



However, one of the more interesting parts of this collection is that it's a science fiction story that uses—gasp—science. We get to keep inertia, Kepler's laws, and no, you are not going to rewrite history as a time traveler. Thank you.



(If you are not an active science fiction fan, let's just say that finding science in science fiction can, occasionally, be hit-or-miss. There are Baen novels, some of which use so many scientific elements that they have physicists co-writing books, and then there's Star Wars and Star Trek media … don't even ask).



Now, to be fair, this comes with the usual mixed bag in any anthology. There are one or two stories that I read and didn't think came up to the standard set by the editors' own tales. I don't know if they were feeling charitable, or if they just really liked “The moral of the story.” The biggest, and I mean the biggest, problem with this anthology is actually … in the introductions. Some of the story intros push a little too hard in trying to explain the moral of the story, and some even give away the ending. But then, if that's the biggest problem with this book, it's not that big at all, when compared to the fun of the rest of it.



If the editors are reading, a simple word of warning for the next volume: stop trying so hard. The story will sell itself. And if you don't think it does, move the introduction of each story to the end of each tale. That's it. “Problem” solved.



And, in this entire collection, I can only suggest skipping two stories. That's it, two. Well, one and a half, really.



The opening tale, The Ghosts of Kourion, is so full of exposition, and takes place so much inside of the protagonist's head, that I can't honestly recommend it. I got bored, and moved on.  And, to be honest, I'm not a big fan of anthologies, considering how variable the quality can be.  I was very tempted to give up on the entire book, if Ghosts of Kourion was going to be an example.  It might be me, but I couldn't really get into it...



And then I read the Karina Fabian tale Antivenin … referred to above as “Snakes on a Star Ship.” Rescue nuns and poisonous snakes. In zero-gravity.  It was fun.  It was a nice, solid adventure.  Though I did expect there to be a line that read "I am sick and tired of these .... snakes on this .... star ship."



It made up for "Ghosts of Kourion," in spades.



As for the rest of the stories, well …



An Exercise in Logic: A nun brought in to argue for saving a few thousand people, in a logic game of chicken.  The alien race's argument? “Yes, we could save this planet … how do you know that the aftereffects won't endanger more people?”   And I can't quibble about a nun who has to fight the urge to slip into the vocabulary of a sailor.  It was entertaining and amusing.  And the ending was cute.



As I mentioned before, I'm a bit of a philosophy nerd, so this one appealed to me. The philosopher Kant once argued that since you can't see all of the ripple effects of your decisions, saying that the ends justify the means is an invalid premise. This story deals with an alien race that argues, The name of Kant is never mentioned, but I liked this one if only for the premise alone.



However, the funniest part of this story may be in the brief bio on author Barton Paul Levenson, who is, in fact, Presbyterian, not Catholic.



However, the best line of the story: "You can't pray to your god in here! This is the Ecumenical Temple! Stop it at once!"



And there will be no fighting in the war room ....



Cathedral (Author: Tamara Wilhite) A short summary of this one could be “Blade Runner goes to church.” A biologically engineered soldier has a limited lifespan, and only has a few months left to try to extend her lifespan ... or to make her life mean something.



This was a very well-designed story, with a nice punchline.  The setup was nice, and the takedown was well executed.  It was touching.  I generally despise "touching," but this one worked for me quite well.



Otherworld (author, Karina Fabian, one of the editors): Remember when I mentioned that there was one and a half stories I would not recommend? This is the half.



The premise here is that there's a Jesuit doing missionary work in virtual reality (VR) … like a net chat room, complete with trolls (not literal … okay, some of them are literal). Imagine that a VR World of Warcraft, or perhaps Second Life, can be so addicting, it can cause the user to fall in and never come out.



I like this premise. Honest. I like the idea of VR missionaries. And how can you not enjoy a story that has a line like “I've just left a discussion on Catholic Social Justice with a white rabbit, a raven and a hamster. I feel very close to St. Francis at the moment”?



However, the main problem isn't the author, or the story, but the narrator. Our protagonist, a Jesuit priest, is a very, very serious fellow. I understood the character's problems because I'm Catholic, and while I even agreed with what our first-person narrator preached, the way it was delivered was in a rote fashion, without thought or explanation to the audience. Why do I blame the narrator, and not the author? Because Karina Fabian is also the author of Antivenin, noted above, which was a fairly excellent story.



And, yes, I'm a mildly schizophrenic author who sees no problem blaming a character as a completely separate entity from the person who writes him.  We've covered this before.


The Battle of the Narthex (Alex Lobdell): I loved this one, it was hilarious. It had intergalactic politics, alien princes going to mass, an old bodyguard who wants to get away from cutthroat palace politics, military tactics, an assassination squad, and motion sensor flush toilets as a threat to invisibility camouflage units. And we get to see a “Come holy spirit” banner on fire.

Imagine the Catholic church from the point of view an alien, and you get something that looks like my “Catholic Cannibals”post from a while ago. There is no theology in this one at all, and the protagonist of this one is an old alien soldier who's an atheist … but there is a nice little touch at the end...

Let's just say that Father Brown would be proud.



Tenniel (Colleen DrippĂ©): In the future, when humanity meets alien worlds, there will be alien converts. In this story, an alien Catholic Bishop comes face to face with one of the local alien “pagans,” who is intent on wiping out the “alien faith,” and any who worship it. The barbarians here really are at the gates, and they are pissed.



I suggest you skip the introduction on this story altogether, since it gives away the ending, and pushes far too hard on the moral of the story. The story speaks for itself. 



I'm thinking ... Constantine.



And not Keanu Reeves.



Tin Servants (J Sherer). In 2147, a Catholic priest has gone undercover as an android soldier being shipped into Africa, and what happens when, for once, the human has to act like an android, instead of vice versa. 



It's a nice inversion of cliches.  In the grand tradition of science fiction, it deals with a lot of modern problems with a fictional guise. Though in this case, the guise is a thin gauze. Not that I'm complaining. Half the science fiction I read lately seems to have a light crust of science over a Grand Canyon of politics—Tin Servants is downright subtle in comparison. There isn't much in the way of theology here, and that's a good thing. It's nice and low key and elegant, with a solid punchline you won't see coming.



Basilica (John Rundle). I loved this story. Up until this point in the collection, I thought that Antivenin alone would justify the cost of this book.  This was just as good.  Possibly better



This story is very much like a Doctor Who episode. To prevent a super-weapon from falling into the hands of ancient heretics, a priest has to hijack a star ship and fend off a boarding party of killing machines.



Basically, run.



Cloned to Kill (Derwin Mak): A military clone named Lorraine … hiding in St. Joan of Arc church … and she hears voices.  Enough said.  This one was fairly awesome, and very well constructed.



Frankie Phones Home (Karina Fabian). This was a cute story, told mostly in the form of dialogue – imagine if the kid from E.T. went along with his friendly neighborhood alien back to his home planet … and then came back.



Dyads (Ken Pick and Alan Loewen) – Premise: Catholicism doesn't mesh with non-human species, but we can all get along.  However, when a missionary from a backwater sect decides to covert the local "heathens" his way, interstellar diplomacy can get messy. 



The nice part about this one is that the culture shock isn't human to alien, but two religions (one human, one alien) looking at a third and saying "Wow, are you weird or what?"



Dyads takes time to really get going, but it's ultimately worth it. There are some details that are a touch overwritten, and there were some sections where I would have liked dialogue, not exposition. But if you ever wanted to see what would happen with interstellar cultural misunderstandings and missionaries, you have an interesting story here. Ultimately, it's quite touching. As I said above, this is coming from someone who typically holds standard “cute and cuddly” in the highest disdain.



Oh, and fair warning - - there are furries.  Tall, bipedel, fox-like furries.  They're aliens, but still, you have been warned.....



At the end of the day, if you like science fiction, you'll enjoy this book. It's worth the price of admission, and I'd even pay money for it, even though I already have a digital copy.



And if you don't want to take my word for it, I'm sure other people can give you a second opinion.



And, now, you get several samples from Infinite Space, Infinite God II












Excerpt from "Antivenin" by Karina Fabian:





No, Ann was not durak. Now if Rita could just keep from doing anything lethally stupid. She grabbed the line, gave it a tug of her own to make sure it was secure, and pulled herself to the Mark 16:18.



Once inside the other ship, they exited the suits, positioning them for emergency donning. Then Rita set up the rescue balloons: nanomylar bags large enough to hold a man. Once sealed, a small motor generated air and heat for thirty minutes--an hour with an expansion pack. She pulled out the retractable strap on her medical kit and slung it over her shoulder.



Ann, meanwhile, had tried to contact the pilot and passenger both via the intercom and by yelling down the hall. Nothing.



Sr. Thomas spoke over their headsets. "Small asteroids coming. Brace yourself!"



They managed to grab the threshold just as the ship jinxed wildly to the left.



Sr. Thomas called, "At least two more, but you have a couple of minutes. Ann, can you disable those sensors before we jerk that tow line off?"



Rita's stomach clutched at the thought. "You go to engineering. I'll search for wounded."



Ann hurried down the corridor, while Rita followed more slowly, opening each door to scan the room. The ship was larger than she'd expected: six doors on each side led to rooms that had been converted to storage. Most were packed wall to wall, floor to ceiling, with an empty strip just wide enough for a person to pull something off a shelf and carry it out. She wondered what kind of cargo the ship carried.



It was eerily quiet, with nothing but the background hum of the engine, the hissing of doors and the sound of her own footsteps. What had happened to the crew?



"Rita! I found someone in the center compartment. He's unconscious. Respiration shallow. He's drooling a lot. I've never seen anything like it."



"Ann, pull up your collar, now." She pulled at the collar of her own skinsuit. The tightly compacted fibers stretched until the fabric covered her mouth and nose. She pressed along her nose and cheeks with thumb and forefinger, creating a seal. The fabric, actually a sophisticated biofilter, would enable her to breathe while blocking most airborne hazards. "Make him comfortable. I'm on my way. If there's nothing you can do, go on to engineering."



"I thought I heard something in the port corridor. I'm going to check that first."



"But if the tow line breaks--"



"Basilica has more. Tommie will catch us again."



It only took Rita a minute to get down the long hall, through the pie-shaped galley room and into the central hub. Ann had set the man upright against the wall and put a slap-patch on his cheek: Oxyboost and a mild stimulant. A second patch read his vital signs.



Rita knelt beside him and puzzled over his stats. They looked more like poisoning than a virus. His face was slack, eyelids drooping. She lifted one. The dilated pupils responded sluggishly to the bright light of the room.



Sr. Thomas called over the headset: "Brace!"



Rita braced one hand on each side of the victim. Again the ship jerked. Rita heard the metallic sound of dishes sliding and clattering to the floor. The man bumped against her arms, but did not fall.



Sr. Thomas said, "One more coming. You've got about two minutes-thirty, maybe three."



"Ann?"



"I'm fine. I definitely heard something this time. Last room on the left, port corridor. Door's jammed."



The man was stirring feebly now, but not enough to help. Rita muscled him around until she could get her arms under his and drag him back to the rescue bag. Despite the months of heavy exercise, she was panting from exertion as she all but dumped him into the nanomylar bag. The man forced a moan. His hand twitched and bumped her.



"Be still. We'll get you to our ship where we can treat you."



He tapped the floor: three slow, two fast. Universal Space Code for "Attention."



"You want to tell me something? Go ahead. I'm listening." They'd drilled the universal tap code daily in her training, and at the convent Mother Superior declared "tap code hours" to keep everyone in practice. It had annoyed her no end, but she was glad of it now.



But he tapped, "No. Look. Attention."



"All right. I'm watching your hand." Slowly, as if it took great will, he spelled:



A...

N...

T...

I..



"Anti?"



Ann called, "Got it! Opening the door now."



V...

E...

N...

O...

M



"Antivenom? What?" Was he hallucinating? She pulled up his sleeves, then his pantlegs.



"Rita?" Ann's voice was a thin ghost of a wail. "Serpents..."



Two small puncture marks, like pinpricks around a slightly swelled area.



"Annie. Just walk out quickly but calmly--"



"Brace!" Sr. Thomas called.



The ship swung, knocking Rita off balance. Through the headset and the ship, she heard Ann scream.




Excerpt from "An Exercise in Logic " by Barton Levenson:



In her room, Julian pored over data she had downloaded from the honendo library. She aligned pictures of a honendo, a desli, a meschottu, and a human. The first three had tails, the human didn't. Tails? Could it be that simple?

Don't be stupid. Look at the other similarities. The three alien species were all reptiles, and all about the same size -- the human picture on the same scale was shorter than the others. All three alien species were egg-layers, and that was probably a big part of the picture. If reproductive physiology was as important to them as it was to humans, that might be the key. The religious primers she had looked through often used a picture of an egg to illustrate existence. Their writers talked about the inside of the shell of the sky when talking about astronomy. And even though their written symbol for "zero" was a sort of check mark rather than a circle, the word for zero (sfuh) also meant "egg."

Doesn't matter. Whatever the difference is, they don't believe humans can produce a luendo. It's a dead end. Think of something else.

* * *

Seventeen days to go.

"How many worlds do the honendo still occupy?" Julian asked the High Council.

Greddil replied, "If you mean how many have a honendo majority, I'd say about eight, isn't that right, Rann?"

"Eight is correct," said Rann.

"But there are over a hundred worlds and habitats with at least a few honendo on them," added Greddil. "Used to be millions, but we've declined since then."

"Do your people ever indulge in interstellar travel?" asked Julian.

"It has been known to happen."

"Then I submit to you that there could be honendo on New Canaan now, even as we speak, and one of them may have laid an egg. The egg may contain a fetal luendo."

"It doesn't seem very likely," said Greddil. "But I'll put a request through TravelNet. It may take a few days to get an answer."

Uh oh. There went her argument, except in the unlikely case that she was right. "Does TravelNet keep tabs on every individual honendo?"

"Of course," said Greddil.

* * *

Thirteen days to go.

"I have researched legal precedents," said Julian. "Please take note of the case In the Matter of Charril, 11,319,255. The court held that Charril had, and I quote, 'The legal, moral and religious duty to render aid,' and that she had failed egregiously in not warning the family of the defect in the robot's programming."

"You raise an interesting point," said Greddil. "We do respect court decisions here. Will you hold on a moment while I review the case?"

"Certainly."

Greddil manipulated something on the bench. It was too high for Julian to see if he had a Pad or used something built in to the surface in front of him.

After a while, Greddil said, "The court referred to the earlier precedent of Honendo Sphere of Enlightenment v. Drann 5,123,582, which said that the legal, moral and religious duty to render aid was implied by the duties to one's family, and that all living honendo were ultimately to be regarded as one family in such matters."

"Surely that distinction is not pertinent," said Julian. "In a larger sense, are not all sentient beings creations of the gods, or as my beliefs have it, of God? And are they not all, therefore, to be regarded as one family in the sense required? A great expounder of my religion, anticipating the coming days of space travel, said, 'Those who are, or can become his sons, are my brothers even if they have tusks or feelers'."

"Well, that's very nice, but note that the Honendo really are biologically related to one another, having all come from the same evolutionary ecology. We and humans did not come from the same ecology and are not really related."

"You're not related to desli or meschottu either, but they can produce luendos, can't they?"

"Yes, but humans cannot."

"Why not?"

"It should be obvious," said Greddil. "You're not our type."

"But don't you see Lewis's point? It's not the physical things that matter. What makes someone a person is the ability to reason and make moral decisions, not how they're shaped or what color they are or what planet they come from!"

"That may be," said Greddil. "But we have no legal precedent for saying so."

* * *

Eight days to go.

Julian said, "Imagine a polity coming together from a state of nature in which individuals of many species are forming a government. They have to make their social system function fairly. They deliberately adopt a veil of blindness -- they do not know, beforehand, which roles they will occupy in the new society. Is it not obvious that they would not institute rules making one species the masters and another slaves? Because with the veil of blindness, they might wind up as the slaves!"

"I see your point without taking its significance," said Greddil.

"People should be treated with a presumption of equality whatever planet they come from. I submit that it is immoral to treat humans differently from honendo based solely on the fact that they are of different species."

"Based on the social contract you envision?" asked Greddil.

"Yes."

"But, you know, societies don't really form that way," he said gently. He began to talk about anthropology.

* * *

Five days to go. "At T minus two days we're going in," said Captain Todd. "It's against my orders and I'll undoubtedly be court-martialed for it. But I don't give a damn if the library gets blown, and I certainly don't care about my career path. I'm not going to stand by and let thousands of innocent people be wiped out. T minus two days, and I'll grab those honendo bastards by the scruff of the neck and make them give us the recall code."

"If the library wipes its memory it may wipe the recall code as well," said Julian.

"Unless one of them already knows it."

"Why would they?"

"To be prepared in case they change their minds!" said the captain. "If I were in their situation, I would want to know the code."

"But you can't be sure."

"No, I can't be sure. But it's a better chance than doing nothing and allowing all those people to die!"

"Perhaps you're right," said Julian. A thought occurred to her. "How, exactly, would you make the priest give up the code?"

"Have you ever heard of waterboarding?"

* * *

Three days to go.

"Tomorrow, if you have not recalled the asteroid, Captain Todd is planning to blast in here, capture you, and get the code out of you," said Julian.

Greddil looked at each of his companions. "Are you referring to the use of military force?"

"Yes."

"The Temple Guard will fight them."

"The Temple Guard will lose." Julian looked down. "Captain Todd didn't want me to say anything, and I haven't told him that I'm telling you this. But I'm telling you because I don't want it to happen! They're planning to torture you on the chance that one of you might know the recall code."

"None of us know it," said Greddil. "It's in the library. And the library will wipe if anyone forces their way in here."

"You will never convince Captain Todd that none of you know the code. Your library will be destroyed and so will each of you if you don't call off the asteroid."

"An argument by the use of force is no argument at all," said Greddil. "It is a logical fallacy. It cannot determine truth."

"I know that! I don't want to see it happen! It wasn't my idea to threaten you! But it's not up to me. Please, I beg you -- save human lives, and honendo lives. Recall the asteroid."

"I'm sorry, not under the threat of force." Greddil smiled. "I was coming to like you, Sister Julian. You plural, I mean; humans. This destroys any respect I had for you. Of course we will not change our minds if threatened. If anything, it will only make us more adamant."

* * *

T minus 51 hours.

Greddil yawned. The priests on either side of him also looked sleepy, with drooping eyelids. "You wish to see us at this ungodly hour?"

"In three hours Captain Todd is going to launch his assault," said Julian. "They didn't want to let me out of the ship; I had to sneak out with the help of a crewman."

"What do you want of us?"

"To recall the asteroid."

"I'm sorry, I see no reason to do so."

Julian said, "Then I will pray until you do." And with that she knelt on the floor and brought her hands together in front of her lips. "Father in Heaven, please move the hard heart of this man to protect your children who are in danger from the unholy wrath of this dead empire. Break their hearts of stone and give them hearts of flesh. Let them know the despair of your children as doom approaches, and let a little love bloom in their hearts. Make them--"

The honendo priests had watched in growing astonishment as Julian prayed. "Here! Here!" said Ahherril, the sociologist and philosopher. "You can't pray to your god in here! This is the Ecumenical Temple! Stop it at once!"






Excerpt from "Cloned to Kill" by Derwin Mak



Lorraine, a clone who has escaped from a cloning lab and sought sanctuary in a church, has been watching a baptism.

Lorraine had been standing by the statue and watching the baptism. A woman wearing a blue jacket and skirt stood with her. Father Markham approached them.

“That was a beautiful ceremony,” the woman said.

Markham said, “Thank you, Sister Clara.” He turned to Lorraine. “What did you think about it?”

“Is it part of the human experience?” Lorraine asked.

“For some humans, it is,” Markham said.

Sister Clara said, “I’m going to call the Big Chicken Coop. What do you want?”

“The usual,” Father Markham said.

“The roast quarter chicken dinner,” said Lorraine.

“Gravy with your French fries again?” Clara asked.

“Gravy,” said Father Markham.

“I will have baked potato with sour cream instead of the French fries,” Lorraine said.

“Money,” Clara demanded.

“Oh, yes,” Markham said as he gave his money card to Clara. “It’s still got fifty dollars.”

“That should be enough,” the nun said as she took the card. “I’ll call the Big Chicken Coop and go pick up the order. I’ll be back soon.”

She turned to Lorraine. “Place the plates and knives and forks on the table, like I showed you, will you?” Lorraine nodded. Clara left for her car, leaving Lorraine alone with Father Markham.

“Is it true that only humans can be baptized?” Lorraine asked. “Sister Clara told me that you do not baptize animals or equipment.”

Father Markham had noticed that when Lorraine was fighting, she spoke in an angry, emotional tone. But when she was calm, she spoke in an emotionless monotone. She never seemed happy, and she never smiled. This had to be due to a life without family, friends, and schoolmates, a life of only neuro-programming and combat training, Markham thought. “That’s true, only human beings can be baptized,” Markham replied.

“Was the baby human before he was baptized?”

“Of course, he was.”

“Then why does he need to be baptized if he was already human?” Lorraine asked.

“While it’s true that only humans can be baptized, baptism does not make someone human,” Markham explained. “Baptism is for people who are already human. It’s a ceremony of purification and entry into the Christian community.”

“Purification? Was that baby impure?”

“In a limited sense. He was born with original sin. The baptism is a remission of original sin.”

“Original sin. I read about it in L'Osservatore Romano in your library. Sister Clara talked about it with me. It is a general condition of sinfulness into which all humans are born. However, I am not sure how it exists and works,” Lorraine said. “Unlike you, I was not born from humans. I was cloned from a donor’s cell. Do I have original sin?”

“I think you do, and for once, I think that’s wonderful,” Markham said.

“Wonderful? How can being sinful be wonderful?”

“Because it means you’re human.”

“Only inside this church. I am non-human outside it,” Lorraine said. She paused for a moment and asked, “Father, if I am truly human, will you baptize me?”

She was unsmiling and unemotional as usual when she asked about baptism. She did not fully appreciate people’s feelings for life’s milestones. Not yet.

“I’ll baptize you if you are willing to learn and join the Christian community. The choice is yours.”

“Perhaps I can do that. I will read more articles in L'Osservatore Romano.”

“You might have to read more than L'Osservatore Romano,” Markham said. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you recite the names of the sacred monkeys in the Vatican.”

“If the monkeys in the Vatican are sacred, have they been baptized?” asked Lorraine.

Markham wondered if Lorraine had developed a sense of humor.

***

The rectory was in a house separated from the church but still within the church grounds. In the rectory, Father Markham, Sister Clara, and Lorraine again dined on take-out food from the Big Chicken Coop.

“What do you say when I pass the bread to you?” Markham asked.

Lorraine took the basket of bread. “Thank you?”

“That’s right. You’re learning.”

Lorraine bit into the bun.

Father Markham felt happy about Lorraine’s progress. Her neuro-programming and combat training had included no social graces, but she was learning them faster than he had expected.

“So how was your day?” Clara asked.

“Why do you need to know?” Lorraine said in her flat, emotionless tone.

“It’s just something people do when they eat together. They make ‘small talk,’ harmless conservation about things that happened,” explained Clara.

“Oh, okay,” Lorraine said. “I heard the voice in my head again.”

“Do you recognize the voice? Do you know whose it is yet?”

“No, I do not. All I know is that it is a man’s voice.”

Father Markham took a sip of wine. “Does it remind you of a voice you heard during neuro-programming?”

“I do not remember.”

“Could it be an instructor at the mercenary training camp?”

“No, it is not one of them. They are within my recent memory. I would remember them.”

After the dinner, Father Markham brought a decanter of port to the table. Drinking port after dinner was a tradition of Canadian military officers’ messes.

“May I have some port too?” Lorraine asked.

Father Markham shook his head. “You’re too young. Do you want coffee or tea?”

Lorraine shook her head and stood up. “No, I will go back into the church and look at the statue.”

“Don’t leave the church grounds,” Father Markham said. “The Clymene Biogenesis people might try to capture you.”

“I can protect myself if they try to capture me,” Lorraine said.

“I know you can,” said Markham. “It’s your enemies I’m worried about.”

“All right,” said Lorraine as she left the room.

As Sister Clara poured some port into her glass, she said, “She seems to like that statue of St. Joan of Arc. I think she identifies with St. Joan after reading about her in The Lives of the Saints.”

“Like St. Joan, she hears voices in her head,” Father Markham observed.

“At least she doesn’t think it’s God’s voice. We get enough people hearing Him,” said Clara.

“I suspect the voice is someone she remembers from her neuro-programming. I’ve heard of other neuro-programmed and force-grown clones experiencing voices or visions. Some of them become mentally ill due to the way they grow up. After Lorraine was created, her creators force-grew her to a sixteen-year-old size in five months, and she learned eight years of primary schooling in six months of neuro-programming.

He sipped his port. “What she doesn’t have is all the people and experiences that develop a teenager’s mind: family, friends, schoolmates, or any memories of childhood or adolescence. She has none except the cloning hatchery and the mercenary training camp.

“In addition, clones are brainwashed into slavish devotion to a specific role, usually dangerous or low-paid jobs, like uranium miner, landmine sweeper, garbage picker, or prostitute.”

“But Lorraine’s different. She’s the first of her kind, an elite combat soldier,” Clara said.

“Yes, a soldier who can get killed without any pensions or payments to a surviving family,” Father Markham said. “She’s the perfect expendable human. Sorry, non-human.”

He shook his head. “Have we come to this: creating people just so they can kill? Or just so they can die?”

“You were a military chaplain,” Clara said. “Is creating a clone any worse than recruiting and conscripting people into the military, where they may also be forced to kill or die?”

“No, that’s different,” Markham said. “Society considers natural-born people to be human, and they keep all the rights of a human being and citizenship when they join the military. They have the free will that God gave them. Even a conscript can disobey orders that are illegal. I told my soldiers that it was their duty to refuse any orders that violate the laws of armed conflict.”

He put down his glass. “We treat clones differently. They have no human rights, and they don’t have any rights of citizenship. And we neuro-program, brainwash, and train them so they won’t have any free will, just an urge to obey us.”

“Not Lorraine,” Clara said. “She escaped from the mercenary training camp because she wanted a different life.”

“She resisted her programming and training,” said Markham. “Something must have gone wrong in the factory.”

“Perhaps,” said Clara. “She got some rather intense training, though. I’m amazed that she hasn’t attacked us.”

Father Markham grinned. “She came here on Victoria Day, when I was wearing my medals for the parade. I must have imprinted on her mind as a military officer, and therefore, a commander.

“But she hears voices that aren’t there, so I don’t know how long I can control her.”

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Interview with ISIG2 editor / author Karina Fabian




Yesterday, we had guest blogger Karina Fabian, editor of Infinite Space, Infinite God II (ISIG2) give us her views on faith, science, and writing science fiction.



If you didn't read yesterday's post, feel free to go back and read it, we'll wait for you....



All caught up now?  Good.



Now, as a bonus blog, we get another shot at Madam Fabian.  Now, it's time to sit her down and ask her some questions about the book itself. 



You all remember that ISIG2 is an anthology of Catholic science-fiction short stories.  What exactly does that entail?  Are we going to have more acts of blantantly violanting the laws of physics?  Will we have alien converts?  A patron saint of starships?  Worse yet, a Saint Captain Kirk?



Read on to find out.



1. So, you're now on ISIG 2 -- Since this blog didn't even exist for the first ISIG, how about you tell the readers why you got started on these collections?



Karina: We sort of happened into it. Rob and I had decided to write stories together on our date nights, and when we had a few, I sought a publisher. That led a publisher to ask us to edit and anthology of Christian sci-fi, then one to suggest Catholic SF. Leaps of Faith was our first anthology and covers a broad range of Christian faiths. Infinite Space, Infinite God I and II are exclusively Catholic in their stories, although many of the authors are not Catholic--just great writers.



2. Why do science fiction in particular?  Nowadays, it seems that anytime a religious person makes an appearance in any genre, the audience can usually guess "Yup, s/he's the villain."



Karina: Exactly! We wanted science fiction that recognized faith, established religious faith, as a natural part of the human condition, and a positive force for our future. We also wanted a book that didn't demonize science in comparison to faith. The two work together just fine for the most part in real life--why let the fringe elements dictate what we have in fiction?



3. In the description of the book, it is described as "Infinite Space, Infinite God II offers solid sci-fi and life-affirming faith."  How much of this is "hard" science fiction (SF that relies on actual scientific principles), and how much is it the treknomancy of Star Trek, or the magic wand that is Dr. Who's sonic screwdriver?



Karina: It's a combination. We have some hard SF, some space opera, some "furry" sci-fi (anthropomorphic animals), some classic SF, and some cyberpunk. So readers are going to get a wonderful variety. Of course, because Star Trek and Dr. Who are copyrighted, you won't see the Enterprise or sonic screwdrivers, much as we love them!



4. What science fiction do you both generally read?  And how did it impact the choices for the collection of ISIG 2?



Karina: Rob (co-editor Robert Fabian) is the real reader in the family, and we reads everything from military SF to SF-fantasy. I tend more toward fantasy, personally, although I used to love Asimov. However, we tried to think of the readers when we chose stories. We had three hard-and-fast rules: There must be convincing science (convincing to the world, not necessarily scientifically possible now); there must be an accurate depiction of the Catholic faith as it stands now (i.e., the Magesterium); the interaction of faith and science must be positive, as must the individual depictions of both faith and science. Really, those three rules enabled us to weed a lot out. Next, we looked for great writing. We wanted to get whisked away. Finally, we tried to get a variety of sub-genres: time travel, near-future, space opera, etc. I wrote "Otherworld" specifically because no one gave us a virtual reality story that really worked.



5. You're both Catholic.  How much of an impact does it have on the series?  Can we expect to see Rabbis in space? And if so, can alien food be kosher?



Karina: We did Infinite Space, Infinite God as Catholic SF because a Catholic publisher asked us to. When they decided science fiction was too risky for them, we were blessed to find Twilight Times to publish the book. ISIG I has won both popular and critical awards, so Twilight Times asked us to do another.



There has been some Jewish science fiction, but I don't know the faith enough to judge it well; ditto, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. And, frankly, we have enough on our plate and not a lot of interest in compiling those anthologies--though we'd love to know they are out there!



6. This blog is about A Pius Man -- essentially a thriller that seeks to take every Catholic cliche, turn it on its head, inside out, throw them in a blender and hit "frappe."  Was there any particular cliche, or set of cliches, that ISIG 2 took joy in subverting?



Karina: Read Alex Lobdell's "Battle of the Narthex." Alex is a genius with humor. The Saturday Mass-and-Spaghetti dinner becomes the battlefield for alien assassins and their targets.



7. So, what does one do with alien life forms?  I know of three major science fiction novels /series (and one tv series) that directly address faith and alien life: CS Lewis's science fiction trilogy, Andrew Greeley's The Final Planet, and the television show Babylon 5.  How about ISIG 2?  Will there be ET on a crucifix?



Karina: We pretty much took the view that God will manifest Himself to each species in a way that they can relate to. "Dyads" is the best example of this. The foxlike aliens who mate for life understand the trilogy as Husband, Wife, and Holy Dance, and the spiritual danger comes when humans try to convert to their faith or they to human faith. It's a fabulously complex story with a very rich universe. Ken Pick and Alan Loewen have a talent for worldbuilding!



8. In addition to being editors, you're both writers.  Robert writes articles on the military and commercial use of space.  Karina writes about zombie exterminators.  How did that affect your editing of the book?



Karina: Rob was the tech guy, and in a few cases, we requested rewrites not only because of the technology but also because the characters didn't use the technology logically. I am more character driven, and edited for story flow and emotional content.



9. What did you enjoy most about ISIG 2?



Karina: Like with Leaps of Faith and Infinite Space, Infinite God I, we loved discovering new writers, reading fabulous stories from established writers--and putting the whole thing together over a candlelight dinner at Olive Garden.



10.  Hmm, the Olive Garden, my condolences ... So, in the future, does the Pope's spaceship look like the Popemobile?  Is there a Saint James T. Kirk?



Karina: In one story, the Pope has had to move the Vatican to Mars. It's very traumatic.



St. Kirk? *headdesk* No. No, no, no. However, there are some new saints who are born and bred in space; including St. Gillian of L5, the founder of the Order of Our Lady of the Rescue. Rob and I wrote stories about these sisters, who do search and rescue operations in space. Those stories are what led us creating these anthologies in the first place.




We here at the A Pius Man blog would like to thank Karina for her time.   Everyone please recall that Infinite Space, Infinite God II can purchased through the publisher at Twilight Press. It is also carried on B&N and Amazon.  Again, the Kindle version of ISIG is on sale for 99 cents through April 13. It and ISIG II are for sale for 2.99 through April 23rd.





For those who have any interest in Karina Fabian's work, she can be found at her site at 



Sunday, September 19, 2010

THIS. IS. DRAGONCON.... 2009


These are notes compiled from my time at DragonCon, 2009, in Atlanta, GA.  Please forgive me if some of these are incomplete.



Day 1, Thursday, September 3rd



Arriving the day before the Convention started, we went to pick up the tickets we had purchased months ago. The line for pre-registration was …. first we went to one hotel, did a U-turn to get onto one line, which u-turned onto yet another line, and that was the line to get INTO the hotel, onto the line for the pre-registration room, where we got onto that line....



Yes, we went from a line, to get onto a line, to get onto a line, to get onto a line.



The preregistration line was was a serpentine deal across a ballroom about 30 yards long, roped off and packed. Organizers kept calling out names, because there was one person to deal with people in select alphabetical segments (Adams-Alabaster, Annoying-Bradbury, etc). It took two hours to get to the front of the line, where they had broken the line up into the segments per group—and we noticed they took 5-10 minutes per member. Later, they had tried to close the pre-registration line at 9 PM, with the room still full. The registrants refused to leave, and they didn’t close until 10:30 PM.







Day 2-- and now the Convention Starts.



10 AM: For the appearance of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy (together for possibly the first time in years), the line into the Hyatt hotel wrapped AROUND the hotel. We asked, discovered that Nimoy-Shatner had been moved to the Marriott Marquis—the line we saw was for watching the reunion on remote large-screen TVs. It was originally placed opposite a Babylon 5 panel, but that panel had been moved to 4PM. Our last option was a panel called “Celluloid Heroes”







“Celluloid Heroes,” with Mike Mignola (Creator of Hellboy), Helen Slater (the original movie Supergirl ), Doug Jones (“Abe Sapien,” and Silver Surfer in the films), and Bruce Davison (Senator Kelly from the first two “X-Men” films).



Items of interest:



Mignola talked about how he wasn’t called to consult for the second Hellboy movie, which gave the director Guillermo Del Toro free reign, which is probably why it was so terrible. However, when Mignola looked at the finished product of Hellboy, he decided that those characters were more Del Toro's than his own. Also, the two of them had tried for eight hours to adapt a plot from the original Hellboy comic for the second film, and failed. Also noted was that Del Toro has a great way for getting around studio “suits”—film in Eastern Europe (aka the back end of Hell), where they would not go.



Apparently, Mignola was brought into Disney to do extra concept art for a movie that would become “Journey to Atlantis”. The artists at Disney are very cliquish, looking at Mignola like “what is HE doing here?” Apparently, the artists never talk to the screenwriters at idea meetings. Mignola, on the other hand, hadn't been informed about that policy, and when he went out to lunch with the writers and talked with them, they came back and they had a different film. He doesn’t know not to speak up. Also, when he first arrived, he had a thought of “Why is there a large poster of Hellboy on the wall?” After hearing about how the Disney artists admired his technique about different things, his first thought about one of the “techniques” was “I did it that way because I can't draw feet.”



Slater attended the High School for the Performing Arts (the “Fame” school), and auditioned for and won the role of Supergirl immediately after graduating. While on set, she performed a Shakespeare sonnet for Peter O’Toole, who was her co-star on the film. Being from New York, she talked with her hands gesturing. O’Toole asked her to hold two dandelions between her thumbs and forefingers and do it again. She learned how to put the poetry over the performance, or, as she put it, “getting the blonde out of her speech”. She would more recently play Clark’s Kryptonian mother on “Smallville.”



Now, originally, the primary villain from John Woo's Mission Impossible II was slated to be Wolverine in the X-Men films, but Woo kept him so long, Singer and company decided to go with an Aussie actor who was playing Curly in “Oklahoma” for the London stage, some guy named Hugh Jackman. They decided “hey we gotta keep an eye on him, he’s gonna go far.” Oh yes, and after shooting, the cast would apparently head to the bar, where Patrick Stewart taught everyone “photon torpedo” acting, moving as if hit, while the camera moved. “Position #7 [Pull to the right.]”



Jones, who also played the Silver Surfer in the second Fantastic 4 movie, is signed on to a Surfer 3-picture deal. The second movie has been written by J. Michael Straczynski.





Panel 2: The Star Trek authors cavalcade: with Peter David, Alan Dean Foster, Keith DeCandido.



When the panel started, there was a brief introduction of everyone except Peter David. He simplified it by asking “Is there anyone here who DOESN’T know who I am?” Answer: no.



Simon and Schuster: the people who bring you the Trek novels have been through a massive let-go of ST editors; they've cut two in the last year. In addition, the authors were told “no more multi-book story arcs”...and there are some who are thinking that this is the end of the Trek book franchise, since the contract is expiring soon.





Editors and Paramount have a great deal of power over the plots. One idiot named Richard Arnold once told Peter David that “there are no female Borg; we haven't seen them on the show, so they don't exist” (This was before the Borg Queen and Seven of Nine). As a result, Peter David's novel “Vendetta” originally came with a disclaimer that it was “not series cannon”. David's reply “So they assimilate everyone but the women? What are they, Hasidic Jews?”



An example of Editorial Power is the Death of Kathryn Janeway—yes, Voyager fans, she'd dead, get over it. It was an idea that was given to Peter David for the book “Before Dishonor.” It was not his idea, don't yell at him for it.



DeCandido had problems writing for Will Riker; According to Peter David, Jonathan Frakes told him that he played Riker as John Wayne. David then went on to discuss how he pictured his creation of Captain Mackenzie Calhoun as Mel Gibson as Braveheart ("I was a teenage warlord"), only without the death and dismemberment.



Alan Dean Foster talked about other projects like the novelization of the first Alien movie, where he could explain things that didn't make sense in the film. Peter David asked “Why did the escape pod only hold four people? Was this ship created by the people who built the Titanic?”



David continued with, “And another thing, I'm still waiting for someone to explain gravity on most of these ships. The only time I've ever seen it done was on Babylon 5, and they even made it a plot point in one story.”







Panel 3: Angel/Buffy guest stars: Kristy Swanson (KS, the original Buffy), Charisma Carpenter (CC), Julie Benz (JB), Felicia Day (FD. Creator of The Guild ).



Miscellaneous facts here and there: Tv sets have doctors to deal with pimples.



According to KS, the original Buffy movie was a Luke Perry vehicle. The soul patch in the move was a fake, and Swanson's cat one day licked it off and ate it.



Felicia Day reads romance novels,on kindle, just because the covers are embarrassing. Also reads JD Robb, which are mystery romances.



After a large round of applause upon her arrival, CC: “I come here for the ego boost.”





Q: “Ms. Carpenter, do you read the comics?”

A: “Well, I’m at DCon, so, yes, of course I do.”







Question on favorite character development:

A, Julie Benz: I was originally supposed to be vamp girl #1.... I got a name and a story arc, so, yay!

A, Charisma Carpenter: It was a little odd giving birth to a 6’2” African-American woman (Gina Torres).

FD: “Your vagina much be huge... on the show! On the show I mean!”

Charisma Carpenter laughs: “Yeah, Franken-pussy.”



Charisma Carpenter was recently filmed for Legend of the Seeker: The lead, Craig Horner, is a Buffy fan and geeked out on her.







Q: Charisma, did you like Buffy or Angel more...?

Charisma Carpenter: “Angel, of course, it had more of me!” [Done for the laugh, I think] “Buffy was fun though.”







Q: “So, Charisma, what did you think of the five seasons of Angel?”

A: “Well, first of all, I wasn’t in the last season; I was cut in season four... then the series got canceled... MUWHAHAHA. No, with the fourth season, it was really tough. I got pregnant, and things became strained with Joss (Whedon), and it reached a breaking point when I found out I would be fired FROM A REPORTER who called to ask about it. When I was approached about doing my cameo in Season 5, I told them, 'Don't kill me. I don't want to do this if you're just going to kill me... don't kill me...' and then I heard the plot of the episode and Damnit, they killed me. When I heard how I was going to buy it, I thought, 'Wow, that’s GOOD! Joss is still the master.' So, we're good now.”



Julie Benz will be in a new movie, a sequel to “Reservoir Dogs”, where her character wears 6-inch Louis Vuitton heels to crime scenes (Charisma Carpenter hugs her and says “I love you!”).







Q: What badass do you want to play next?

Charisma Carpenter: “I wanna play Julie! Or any Quentin Tarantino Heroine.” (Kill Bill’s Bride)

Q: No, I mean a real person.

Charisma Carpenter: “Julie is a real person!”

Julie Benz: No I’m not.

Charisma Carpenter: --Or I'd play Wonder Woman, but Joss isn’t involved with that anymore, so never mind.

Julie Benz: Well, as far as real people go, I was once mistaken for Kristy Swanson.

Kristy Swanson: You don’t look like me.



And, finally, one last exchange.







Charisma Carpenter: Julie bit me once.

Julie Benz: I liked it.

Charisma Carpenter: And then I hit you, and I liked it!





Panel 4: Apocalypse Rising Track,:the writers panel, starring John Ringo, SM Stirling, and Michael Z. Williamson.



When John Ringo's on a panel, by the way, expect to hear very little from anyone else. He doesn't seem to like the sound of his own voice, and though he came into the panel after driving 6 hours in 18, he still takes over



John Ringo: “I find it funny that this is a panel of disasters and someone just handed me a novelization of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen....



“Now, with Post Apocalyptic fiction, it's a way for a writer to make the world over in his own image, using the most unlikely hero—usually a version of themselves. In fact, the Western tradition has been scarred by it, with the Plague, which killed a third of Europe.



“Oh, and by the way, did anyone here see Cloverfield? I just wanted them all to die! Does anyone here known anyone as stupid as those people?



“One of the various problems with our modern world is that the Sun occasionally burbs. And that's fine if you're an ancient Roman, not so good for us. Right now, if we lost modern technology, it would be worse and more devastating than a nuclear war; with technology, we can support a planet of six billion people. If we lose modern technology, the planet has has a max capacity to support only 450-500 million people. Please realize that the “normal” world is not America, it's Darfur and Saudia Arabia.



“In 1869, there was the Carrington event, a solar storm that lasted for hours, hit the entire planet with a barrage of electromagnetic pulse. Now, it doesn't effect telegraphs. Us, not so lucky. Then again, in Tennesee, we can live off of squirrels--75 squirrels per person. And I live in Chattanooga, with the Tennessee Valley Authority. They'd have the power back up in two months.”



Miscellanous someone [most likely Stirling] “As for what's left afterwards... for example, archaeologists found a 3800-year-old clay tablet from town destroyed by Hammurabi. It had a stone letter in it. They were all excited and such, the first such letter they found of this kind.... what was on it? 'This is the third letter I have written regarding the silver you owe me…' The second one was 'You have not written me in the three years since your marriage…'



“And speaking of modern technology, Los Angeles.... You put a city in the desert? Really?”



Ringo: No I didn’t.



MZ Williamson [I think]: “As for after the fall, and what would be left, in my book, I had them retell Star Wars as their myth, only with the siege tower of doom instead of the Death Star, and they found a Star Trek Technical manual and decided to put it together themselves...after all, it had been done before.”



Stirling [I also think]: “James Clavell, the English author, was a POW in a Japanese camp in WW2, which he turned into his novel King Rat. After the war, he walked around the streets of London with two tins of sardines in his pockets because he had learned that he could survive on two tins and a pound of rice should everything fall apart.”



Ringo: by the way, for the record, the average lifespan of a lone wolf is about six months. Humans are also pack animals. Should the crap hit the fan, you can have all the food in the world, but that won't help if there are thirty people surrounding your house. Get friends.







Panel 5, 4PM. John Ringo reading



“Has anyone read Princess of Wands?” EVERY HAND shot up. “OK, then.” Working on the sequel for 18 months. Problems: Should he do it as one novel? Vignettes? What order should the vignettes be? And how do you top the last book?



Eventually, the reading was “Live Free or Die” (“no relation to the Bruce Willis movie”).

Premise of this book: a Libertarian with a napoleon complex becomes richest and most powerful man on Earth.

It starts with a statement of the real Scientific principle “Hm, that’s odd.”



And it leads into SkyWatch: watching the skies and the stars for things that can crash into the Earth and kill us. The joke is those that who can’t teach, go to SkyWatch.



And then they find a 10.4 KM concentric circle in space.



“Is this a joke?”

“It's from the Germans, they don’t have a sense of humor.”

“You do know what shape that's in, right?”

"Yeah, it’s a halo; maybe it’s Covenant. At the speed and angle, it won't hit us, but keep an eye on it, when it hits something, the explosion will be REALLY COOL."



Several weeks later: “Um, it's stopped.” Oh crap.



Cut to the White House Switchboard.



Operator: “White House Switchboard.”

Robotic voice: “WE ARE THE GLEEN. WE COME IN PEACE.”

Operator: “A prank call will only be wasting my time.”

Voice: WE. ARE. THE. GLEEN. IF YOU LOOK AT YOUR CALLER INFORMATION BOX, YOU WILL SEE THAT THIS CALL IS COMING FROM A SATELLITE. WE. ARE. USING. TO. RELAY. THE. SIGNAL. WE WILL CALL BACK IN 5 DAYS AND CALL AT NOON. GREENWICH. MEAN. TIME. PLEASE HAVE YOUR PRESIDENT CLEAR HIS SCHEDULE. HAVE. A. NICE. DAY.



Five days later, on a conference call with the G8 world leaders: “WE ARE THE GLEEN. WE COME IN PEACE. WE HAVE SENT YOU AN INTERSTELLAR GATE FOR YOUR USE TO COME INTO AND OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM. ANYONE CAN USE THE GATE AT ANY TIME AFTER YOU PAY THE OPERATING FEE. PLEASE DO NOT HAVE EXPLOSIONS WITHIN 300,000 KM OF THE GATE. THANK YOU. HAVE. A. NICE. DAY. ”



Now, to the hero—Vernon Taylor, or Taylor Vernon, no one can recall, not even Ringo. This Libertarian webcomic artist ran a SF site, which died after science fiction was superceded by events. One day, he discovered that the Gleen is addicted to maple syrup; he grabs a big rig full of 50 gallon drums of syrup, becomes their supplier, and is rich overnight.



The first story: “The Maple Syrup War”: Earth is too backwater for the Gleen to interfere, they don't have a world government body, no real political organization that the Gleen find acceptable, and that includes the UN. Every few years, the Rastor come, blow up Singapore and two other cities (because they were the brightest lit), and have tribute.



And then they take Hostages for maple syrup. Vernon sets up a transmission from his moon colony, relays it thru several satellites and Fox News. Green screen is set up behind him to add to the image of him being at home. “It may seem to you that we who collect the syrup are the servants of the people in the cities. To your collective mindset, you don't know this concept of freedom. Of individuality. Of liberty. The people in the cities... THEY ARE OUR ENEMIES. We WANT you to kill them. BLOW UP BOSTON. DESTROY NEW YORK. And please, PLEASE, NUKE DC! This is America. A place of FREEDOM. LIVE FREE OR—”

“We lost the first relay, swtiching to second.”

Picture behind him reverts to Mount Rushmore. “AND WE HAVE CGI AND GREEN SCREEN YOU ALIEN BASTARDS.”

“Lost the second one.”

“Cut.”

Afterwards, a CNN reporter says “We were hurt by what you said. You didn't mean the cities are you enemies.”

“Of course I did. They are. They're against everything we stand for. But I didn't want anyone to die.”

“Then why did you say that?”

“To quote the smartest rabbit I know, 'Please don’t throw me into that briar patch.'”







By the second vignette, Vernon has created a warship out of a 10km wide nickel asteroid, 9 trillion tons, armed with Archimedes mirrors; described as “insufficiently ambitious.”

An audience member hummed the Imperial Waltz, Ringo said “Exactly. In this, everyone's trying NOT to do the death star.”

And this armed asteroid is called Troy.







Panel 5: 

The league of redheaded stepchildren: Media tie-in authors Peter David, Timothy Zahn, Robert Greenberger, Catherine Asaro.



Most often line that they hear: “When are you going to write a REAL book? Not some Star Wars novel.” Tie-ins are a rung below SF/Fantasy.



When asked what projects he's turned down, Timothy Zahn turned down B5 —

PD: Don't worry, I did it.

TZ: Then I turned down a Halo novel.

PD: Don't worry, I did it.

TZ: I have objections to writing “Other people’s stories.”

PD: “Would you object to $100K for a screenplay?”

TZ: “Maybe, but that's weeks, a novel takes months.”

PD: “Not the way I write. I burn out keyboards. ”

TZ: My other problem with the Halo novel was that they wouldn't let me see their bible for the mythology.

PD: I didn't have a that problem. The Microsoft people were very supportive. When I was approached, I say “Yes, I love Halo,” and spend days doing research playing the game or reading strategy guides. When I handed in my outline, they said “Oh, you can't do that with this weapon, but you can with this, which is one that we haven't released yet.” But yeah, they were very supportive with me.

TZ. “Mom always liked you best.”

PD: “And is it any wonder? As for what I've turned down, I turned down writing the first Voyager novel; the show bible said Janeway was supposed to hold the ship together with willpower, spit and baling wire, between the Marquis and the starfleet crew members, the show ironed out all those rough edges.. And I turned down the novelization for Iron Man 2; Marvel was so paranoid, they insisted the writer do this with pen and paper. Then again, my theory is that if anyone asks if you can do something, then say yes! Then learn how.







Max Allan Collins wrote Road to Perdition, the novelization of movie based on his comic book. He put in background and stories that he couldn’t fit into comic. Publisher said take it out because “it wasn't in the movie.” The novelization ended up as 40k words. His revenge: he put the material into sequel.



On the Return of Swamp Thing: PD took old Alan Moore comics and rewrote the movie. Greenberger, working for DC at the time, said forget the movie, read the book.

Monday, September 13, 2010

What's going on with the book? A Pius Man, Doubleday, and the Market

We interrupt this series of DragonCon reports for a news update.......



Ahem....



So, what's going on with A Pius Man and Doubleday, you ask?



Some time ago, I mentioned that A Pius Man was under review with one of the larger distributors of books in America; these are the people who put Dan Brown on the map with a little book about art history and word puzzles. After I mentioned that it was under review, most of you probably noticed that it was never mentioned Ever Again.



I figured that some of you may be wondering what the heck is going on.



The very short version. I had a strong advocate in one editor, who fully supported the book. He liked it, despite some admittedly stupid copy-editing errors on my part (which have since been tended to). Basically, he would support the book no matter what superficial things were wrong with it. This was THE book for him. He would back it all the way....



Then he was fired....



No, there isn't a cause and effect relationship.



Here's the problem...



To start with, the publishing industry is, in essence, owned by about five people. One company is owned by another, and another.



In this case, Doubleday is owned by Random House.



For those of you who don't keep track of economic news as obsessively as I do, a little review.



Around November of 2008, Random House had a minor bloodbath. Employees were slashed in the ten-thousand range. Some blamed the economy, some blamed the rise of electronic media (e-books, Kindles, Nooks, Crannies, etc) and traditional media's “failure” to compensate. Some blamed Random House itself for “wild expansion” during a five year period where the price of hardcovers (their bread and butter) went up as cheap e-books came out by the bushel. (Footnote: NY Times, November, 2008... look it up if you don't believe me)



And it's NOT just Random House that has been hit upside the head by this economy. Books are wounded in general: look at how Barnes & Noble is fairing if you want a good example. Last year, it looked like the clock had started to run out on Star Trek novels; “to be continued” and multi-book series were frozen, because the publisher wasn't going to lay money on how things were going to look three years down the road. Not only that, but in the 2008-2009 year, they had gone through five editors on the Star Trek novels alone. When you consider that Star Trek novels used to come out once a month, and sometimes more, it says something that they questioned the profitability of a long standing franchise. (Footnote, DragonCon, 2009.)



And there are solutions, of course. The Random House Slaughter was followed by massive hiring. Publishers have to cut costs while, AT THE SAME TIME, keep up their output. In the larger houses, this means they still have to put out a hundred books a month. So they have to hire people to replace everyone they had just let go. Personnel who can be hired at lower cost who can do the same job.





However, in a bad economy, personnel hired because they were less expensive can always be replaced by personnel who are even cheaper. (I dislike referring to people as "cheap," but my mental thesaurus isn't firing on full thrusters right now, and “even less expensive” didn't seem right).



My supporter was one of the “cheaper” employees. However, in the current atmosphere (10% or 17% unemployment, depending on how you jostle the numbers), there is no shortage of warm bodies to hire, and it's possible to find employees who are even cheaper still.  And since the rule right now is “Last in, first out,” my supporter wanted a trump card. A property that he could bring into the company, and would guarantee his position... Guess what book he wanted to use.

 

However, if you have ever played a card game that use trump cards, there is only one major rule. You have to have a sense of timing about when you use the trump cards, otherwise, you don't get anything by using them.



And, of course, speaking of timing, my own timing was also perfect. I finally landed an agent five months into this particular situation (word to the wise: if you have a choice between trying for a Post-Graduation degree in liberal arts, or shooting at your true goal IN the arts, ditch the degree).



Right now, the status of A Pius Man is simple: we're back at square one. I'm going to copy-edit the entire manuscript, again, and then, we start anew.